Never Meant To Be
by Kieren Altair Arwydd
Summary: He loved her... so much that it hurt... but she was not meant for him...


**A/N: **Ok... I know this story is not so good. I feel it's not up to my usual standards. So, yeah... Even so, I really appreciate reviews. I write stories to gain encouragement and motivation to write even more. And one way of giving me encouragement is REVIEWS! So, please do review! ENJOY THE STORY PEOPLE!

_**ANONYMOUS REVIEW ARE ACCEPTED!**_

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NEVER MEANT TO BE**

I was laughing… at myself… How could I ever had the nerve to agree to go to that wedding? I was amazed… and broken… just a little… That girl, she was marrying the only one I had envied all my life and who was also the brother in all but blood to me… In reality, no one really cottoned on to the fact that I loved her. When I first met James Potter, I disliked him for the simple fact that he had a happy home lifeand loving parents, the things that was denied to me. To make me more pissed off, I was angry that he took that for granted. I buried it though for after all, we were friends... because of our love of pranking and soon it was gone.

Then, it was for an utterly different reason. This time around, I loved him… in a brotherly way (get your head out of the gutter!) and loathed him. He managed to snag her… the one thing that was truly unattainable to me. He had everything I always had wished for and he got her too. Talk about getting the cake and eating it! In truth, I was supposed to have had that privilege. I was in love, Merlin, so much in love that it hurt a little. I was the one who first recognised her for who she was and her worth. The first time I saw her was on the train. It was not love at first sight… Gods, no, I didn't hold with that kind of clichéd stuff. I liked her; I thought she was a kindred spirit. I was all alone that day. Cissy had gone on ahead with her friends, all those 'Pure-bloods,' I sneered at that mentally.

The girl looked up from her book, 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens, I noted. Definitely a muggle-born.

"Are you going to stand there the whole day?" she said.

"Maybe… anyone sitting there?"

"Yep, my imaginary friend… what do you think, mister?"

"Ok… thanks, I guess." Feisty huh? I guess it went along with the whole being a redhead thing.

"Hello there. My name's Sirius Black…"

"Seriously? Evans, Lily Evans."

"Ah, Evans, I _am_ Sirius Lee."

She laughed. It was so nice. "So, are you a muggle-born or otherwise?"

"The honour's not mine… but yep, a wizard…"

"Can you tell me about Hogwarts?"

"My pleasure."

And so, we spent a pleasant half-hour discussing about Hogwarts. She was so free Until James stumbled into the compartment. We were at first startled, until introductions were made. That right there was my first mistake. He shot a cocky grin at Lily and then dragged me out of the compartment. "You look like a good prankster. Wanna prank the Slytherins?" I acquiesced. My second mistake.

Soon, Lily was driven out of my mind. I enjoyed being with this strange, carefree boy. We were all sorted into Gryffindor. Since then, we rarely conversed. It didn't help matters that she was at first the target of most of our pranks. A rift formed between us. However, my relationship with her was not as volatile as her and James. That was a ticking time bomb. And it did explode in the incident with Snivellus in our fifth year.

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Sixth year was the year everything changed. I ran away from home. I found refuge in James' home. That was not the turning point that year. One night, I couldn't sleep. I went down to the common room. Going to my usual spot, I realised a girl was curled up on it. I was going to walk away to search for another sofa when I heard her quiet sobs. Then, I realised that the girl had vivid red hair.

"Lily?"

At this, she looked up. I was stunned… the ever so cheerful, studious girl was crying… her eyes were bright with tears yet dull. Those pretty green eyes I so loved. She launched herself at me. "Sirius!" She was crying yet again. "Sirius!"

"Hey, what's the matter Evans?" I was worried. This was not her… not at all. For I never really forgot about her all these years. I was scared and worried...

She handed me a crumpled, balled up parchment. I skimmed the letter. Going back over it, a few words stood out. _Your parents… tortured to death… Dark Mark… sister… safe…condolences… funeral… next Saturday…_

I managed to choke out a strangled "Oh, Lily... I am sorry." After which, Lily started crying all over again. All I could do was whisper some nonsense and pat her back. Soon, she fell into an uneasy sleep. I conjured a blanket and covered her. That night to me, even right now, it feels like it happened only yesterday. We were back on friendly terms after that. James was envious of me. But I was ecstatic for I finally managed to regain back her friendship. I don't know how or when… but slowly, my friendly feelings morphed into something deeper.

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Then, seventh year came around. You know the story of what happened next… James stopped being an arrogant show-off, Lily realised her feelings for him and they started dating. That's their side. They were happy; I on the other hand, got dealt the losing hand. I was angry… angry because James had taken her… upset because I was too late… and disappointed for I could have been the one with her instead of James. Remus was wondering what the matter with me was. James didn't notice as he was too caught up with Lily and also, I had perfected the teasing banter and cheerful face that was my usual demeanour whenever James spoke about Lily since James first became obsessed with Lily.

I was upset and broken a little. But I tried to not let it get to me. Fast forward a few years; here I was prepping myself for the wedding.

I was James best man… can you beat that? The utter idiocy I was showing. I was determined to at least be there for him. He made her happy, I guess that would have to suffice. Knowing she was happy and safe would get me through this. Remus squeezed my shoulder in sympathy. He being the ever so smart werewolf had managed to piece together the story. He was sympathetic. I didn't want pity… I just wanted to be the one saying the wedding vows with her.

From the moment, I walked down the aisle… I felt distant from the wedding. She made such a vision in her wedding dress… gods, I wish I had fought harder but it was a battle lost before even starting. He was meant for her, and she for him. That was when I realised I had truly lost the moment they first met. And I made peace with it. I knew I never could really love anyone the way I did her. She would forever be a ruler to measure against any other women to come. I would never forget her… but from now on, I was happy… Finally at peace. At this, I smiled at her and she grinned impishly too… Maybe in another life, I would gain her but until then I would live with the fact that we were never meant to be.

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**A/N: **I'll improve the story later. But right now, this is as good as it gonna get. I always wanted to do a Sirius and Lily pairing so, yep, this is the result.... If possible, do read my other stories! Thanks! Thanks for reading and reviewing by the way. *hugs to all readers and reviewers*


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